loca the pug and why we should laugh during sex

The other day as I was lurking on facebook (as I constantly do, since I'm an unemployed/in the middle of a master's thesis crisis/bored millennial) I once again met up with the amazing video of Loca, the pug.

For those who don't know, Loca is a disabled pup that doesn't know how to properly run and this video is a compilation of several "runs" by this pug, accompanied by a beautifully made up song by Loca herself. I had not seen that video in a while now, and to my surprise it was shared by the one and only girl in the world who I have a true crush on. To be honest, this girl is not just a visual crush, she's someone who I've talked a few times and who is pretty similar in tastes and mentality as well as sexually likes, with me.

That led me to a very clichê Carrie Bradshaw moment when I asked myself: are we sexually compatible with people who have the same sense of humor as we do?

Based on my not-that-vast experience I thought about who I had the best relationship humor-wise and sex-wise.
The first boy I actually introduced to my parents as a boyfriend and who I dated for more than a couple of years was someone I thought I got along with really well, but as an inexperienced sexual being as well as an immature human being, I know now that we actually didn't get along that well, we were just friends who had to be together every single day and who fought all the time when we weren't having clumsy sex. We didn't have the same likes or interests, I just kind of forced him into fashion as he tried to induce me into drum and bass (sorry, not for me). We might have laughed at the same jokes for a while but then, when the guy you're seeing doesn't know who Anna Wintour is or has no idea that you're quoting The Devil Wears Prada, he'll certainly not know when you're faking an orgasm, as he doesn't know you.

In the midst of fuckbuddies or tragic relationships I've also learned that kinkiness usually comes from open minds and open minds tend to joke about everything, even sex. Humor and intelligence have always come hand in hand for me and when someone shows even a subtle lack of understanding of my speech, it tends to kill my lady boners. But every once in a while, due to some basic needs, everyone tends to close their eyes (read cover their ears or stop thinking) and get together with someone who isn't that bright or who has nothing to do with you. When this happens, you might just be in some mid-life crisis and want to forget about life by getting it on with your personal trainer without a lot of thought, and things tend to be quite fast and simple: you say hi, you come, you say bye.
In this type of hookups you don't really need the humor part, it works the same way as having lunch at mcdonald's, you go, grab a cheeseburger and some nuggets and in 15 minutes you're done; you didn't need to think about wine or some expensive desserts and you're completely full.

So, where does this humor thing fit in? A few days ago, a friend of mine who's got a big ass (so she has some big ass situations) sent me a video of herself trying to put a pair of tight jeans on. I laughed really hard for a few minutes but to her surprise, another friend of her said that her video wasn't funny at all, "it was only erotic". In the bedroom, as well in life, you can't label things. You can't just label a butt as erotic because it's a nice, round butt, and you can and should totally laugh at erotic stuff.

This brings me to the first time I fucked with my now boyfriend, back then he would suddenly laugh to me, not in a loving, caring way but in a totally "I'm crazy and I'm laughing during sex" way. That instant I got really confused so I asked him why he was laughing, and he said because he was having fun, "aren't you?". To be honest that didn't make any sense at the time but now it does and we laugh all the time because we do really enjoy ourselves and have genuine fun every minute of the day. 

Most of the people take sex as something really romantic or sensual filled with moans and sweat. I'm not saying we should all start laughing uncontrollably while we're fucking, but if that works for you, go for it, just make sure it works for the other person involved as well or you might go to a mental hospice.

On the other side, if you're the kind of person who takes everything too seriously, when you're getting rough and biting and shit (unless you're 100% vanilla and I'm so sorry), if you happen to be with someone who likes to slap you in the face during sex, you either get extremely furious whenever that happens and end what's going on because you can't take a little slap; OR you take it in a enraged/fun way and want to hit them back.
Sex, and relationships in general, need more humor and it only happens if there's communication. Communication is more important than love or lust. And if you communicate and joke around during the day why the hell don't you do it during sex?

Good communication only happens when you're 100% true with yourself and your partner, not only in a faithful way but also in what concerns to your true personality: being yourself lets you get loose and say whatever comes in your mind. Listening to the other person and trying to love them as they are, goofy, kinky, vanilla, or wtv, makes you able to experience new things and create a dialogue. And if you both are laughing at the same pug video, you can certainly fuck, hit each other and laugh after all.